Mother's Day grief snuck up on my this year and hit me hard. I didn't even figure out what was going on until I was getting ready for bed last night and it was too late to make the day better. The weekend was busy and felt a little out of control. There was some foot stomping and yelling and yesterday my boys told me it was the worst day ever (they were over it two seconds later, but it stings to hear that on Mother's Day).
And then at 11pm, while I was thinking about a dress I am wearing to a wedding this weekend, my mind drifted to the wedding I went to the weekend before my twins were born. And it hit me. I didn't do anything special to acknowledge Randi and I think that's why I was so bent out of shape all day.
So since I couldn't make the day better at 11pm, I went and apologized to my boys in their sleep and I'm making a plan for next year. Mother's Day is hard for us, pretending its not, or that it shouldn't be anymore, just makes it worse.