So here i am...unsure and lost...

Hi all. Im new here and I just want to vent because I haven't brought out to any family, friends or co-workers and a little bit at a loss right now. I had my son last year on 04/12/17. He was born at 32 weeks, my little big preemie baby (He was 4lb 12oz). I was high risk due to 3 previous miscarriages. All was well up until I was 16 weeks and my cervix was shortening. I had to get a same-day cerclage and got put on progesterone and Modified bed rest. The doctor said i could not return to work until further notice. Luckily, My job allowed me to work from home during the time. I worked from December until April from home and then after I had Brayden, stayed home, not working for 6 weeks, 3 of those weeks being in the NICU. 

I am pregnant once again and just recently found out. I don't want to tell anyone yet, but I am also worried that I am going to be on high risk and ordered to bed rest again. I am worried that financially, i just can't do it and am so stressed out and worried about losing my job and the reaction that i will get as I was just out last year for months at a time. My Fiance is so happy, but I am so worried. Our son right now is only 9 months old as it is. 

Flash Forward to today. I went for my first ultrasound a few days ago and was told my cervix looks good by the Tech--great! Now doctors nurse calls me because they recieved the ultrasound results. Welp-- gestational twins but one heart beat. I am at a loss. I am unsure how to feel. I feel guilty and lost. Twins?! but...not....twins. So here i am...unsure and lost...

4 Replies

  • Hi and thank you for sharing. This is must be really overwhelming -- even just a pregnancy after a premature baby by itself! With your financial worries, the loss of a twin, your history of miscarriages, the possibility of bed rest -- and all with a 9-month-old son, it's no wonder you're feeling a lot of worry and uncertainty. At the very least, I hope you can let go of any guilt. You've done absolutely nothing wrong, and all of your thoughts and feelings are completely understandable. As difficult as it seems now, I'm sure you will get through this journey stronger than ever. Please keep us updated. I'll be thinking of you and sending good wishes.
  • My husband and I just lost our baby girl at 26 weeks January 31. I feel lost and depressed. I to endured miscarriages , two in fact. We've been trying for 8 years. I was seeing a high risk doctor and my last ultrasound was at 24 weeks and they indicated everything was fine. My doctor said we can try again within 3 months but scared. My husband and I want to keep moving forward but very scared. I feel lost too but I hope you and I and all the other women will find our answers and find our way.
  • Hi there, thanks for sharing your story with us. I'm so glad your cervix is doing great so far, as I know that can be a lot to worry about. Gosh thats alot to take in for a phone call from your nurse. How are you feeling today? I'm sure the excitement and shock hit when she said twins but then to then to hear that there was only one heartbeat. I'm sure you are struggling with the right emotions to experience but honestly, I think any emotion would be so normal. Keep us updated on how you are doing. I hope that your cervix stay strong and healthy!!

  • Hi hun I had my son 2 yrs ago I'm wanting another baby but scared of incase I go in to premture labour again that early